Oophs!

Okay so I know its been awhile since I last "blogged".. i apologise for that, with ben home the week goes to fast and we were quite busy those days of. I had my make over I think for the day I looked completly different, ben even commented but i think that was due to the 10pounds of makeup i was wearing. It was great to be pampered but it just wasnt me, i didnt like the makeup, clothes and being a "model" for a afternoon really was awkward. When I get the proofs and if i think its decent enough I'll email them to you and post on facebook....
we took the kids to river way, thats townsvilles best kept secret, its a park / arts center/ sports oval/swimming lagoons/ playground/ river place that is gorgeous. So lucious and green.. the kids had a ball swimming in the shallower lagoon thats below the bigger one seperated by a arty sculpture leading down, pretty nice i thought. wouldve been nice if we didnt forget the friggin nappy bag!! i think ive explained how hard / how much work is required when we do go out and to forget the nappy bag... FUCK ME... was the words I said when we changed Rori to go swimming and she did a big ass POO. So our beautiful afternoon was cut short. Kids werent to impressed so bribed them with some hungry jacks and went home!
Twins are now 10months! WooHOo 8wks to go and they are 1!!!! how exciting and I just cant wait.. 1 is when everything changes, they arent babies anymore and are more independant. I adore my kids, I love having twins, does have it moments I wont lie but I do enjoy the challenge even though at least once a week I want to walk out. Normal I guess.. Anyhow.. it would be nice when they can hold their own bottles.. Rori is just starting to but I think she likes it squirting out! Brods isnt ready at all... although he is crawling much better and is starting to get faster and not so frustrated. Rori is army shuffling crawling but still very slow, theyve both found the volume control on the dvd player and play with that all the time and pull out all the dvds.. time to introduce No and hand taps soon I think. start early they learn early no dramas when they are 2. Ive never really suffered terrible 2's. had moments like everyone else but I like to think i dicipline my kids well.
So bens been gone one day already and I hate it.. 6 sleeps to go... then its fathers day, we're buying him a whipper snipper.. thought thats a manly fatherly gift. then on monday we fly out to GROOTE....yep thats right... ben has made it through to a site visit so we get to visit this beautiful tropical island for 2 nights without the kids!! even if ben doesnt get the job im just going to love the short mini rejuventaion trip. Just me ben. Going to be great. and of course I still really want him to get the job. If it all goes well we think its just the medical pych and then contract. but we have heard of ppl going for a site visit and still not getting the job.. so we are still apprehensive until we get the final verdict. its something we both want so bad so we both kind of feel it wont happen because we want it so bad..
anyhow i have to go, callum is home from school with a form of UTI and twins are a little under the weather for something different and last night i went into a freezing cold shaking fit that hurt my whole body i spent til 12 shaking hot and cold. i lost 800grams!! so there goes mummy groupd today i think.. i just dont think we are healthy enough to visit anyone and FUCK is my word of the day because I like to get out and be social.
Better sort these kids out.. well mj. she needs to catch her bus in 8min and im still on here... such a bad mum!!!!
caio babes
xxx

Ho Hum...

Yay.. now it's Sunday.. and tomorrow is Monday and I am child free!! I just love my child free days but they always go soooo fast.. Usually I study go to the shops, last time I caught up with rach for coffee and that was really really nice. Tomorrow I'll be getting Mj and Cj of to the bus by 8am and then dropping the twins at care then coming home to sleep til lunch!!! Then Im really excited I have my first consult for the make over I won.. I know I deserve it and I know Im gonna look hot!! Especially because I have lost more weight and looking more buff atm.. when you go to the gym the results dont happen for afew days after.. not sure why but thats the way it works and im happy with that I suppose.. and after a really good workout your muscles still burn calories for hours afterwards... just something i learnt along the way!!
Yesterday was such a great day, so relaxed and enjoyable.. i actually had a enjoyable weekend and i didnt need alcohol, mates or anything else to validate it. I think Im growing up! It was me the kids and music, movies a nice lunch and it was awesomly warm!!
Brodie has discovered crawling around the house now and the benefits that come from that, rori has just started to discover crawling and is moving around slowly... its funny to watch them collide then attack each other and then they laugh at each other.. yest rori was in her walker and brodie was playing on the floor with the toys and he passed her up a toy and she grabbed it and laughed and "talked" to him, it was the most awesome sight to see them interact like that. Ive waited since knowing i was having twins to see that..
brodie can now pull himself up, well the gumnut did it in the bath and was so proud of himself.
mj got another certificate at school i think that makes about 4 for the year and she skipped a grade aswell so she is really coming into her own and doing so well, her reading is amazing now and the books she brings home shock me now. im really proud of her.
cj is well cj... always into something, comes home with his hands covered in paint clothes covered in paint and sand in his pockets and shoes... he's coming along well but has more interest in building, designing and reporting things as opposed to reading and writing. maybe he'll be the best quarry manager in austraila one day.. like my dad.
so much has happend to us in the last year its almost too much. Afew great things have happend out of it though and im very thankful. I have gotten in contact with a best mate from high school and im just rapt about that, its almost like we never missed a days company. ive regained some friendships but im just not sure, you know once bitten twice shy kinda thing. do people really change and can they be truely sorry? i guess so but sometimes its hard to believe and i tend now to sit and watch and i just love karma. it always has a way.. and i really dont mind being the one to sit back laugh and think well. there you go. i am though alot stronger.
i really want something yummy to eat today. just dont know what. something mind blowingly yummy. but what.. ive settled for vegemite toast for the minute. not mind blowing but yummy. maybe tomorrow when i have no kids ill have something that yummy.. theres a great souvlaki bar down the strand...
welp i best get to it. i have a load of washing to hang up, then one more and im all done for a day! haha..... and a lil baby boy who needs his morning nap.. just got to find him.. he went crawling past about 5min ago....
caio
xxxx

Friday...

Yay its friday already.. its going nice and quick.. i love the weekends, like ive said no routine and just cruizey...
So ive been busy and ive been really happy the last few days.. getting lots of sleep which is something you take for granted when either one you dont have kids or 2 your kids are grown up and youve forgotten what its like!! Brodie is starting to venture around the house, he has a blister forming on his knee... not really sure what to do about that... Rori fell of the couch and sent two teeth into her gum... blood and stuff. NIce! At least once a week one of them fall of something... :-/
Ive done my weigh in today and Im now at my lightest... Im Friggin stoked.. all thanks to the gym... I am such a gym junkie now.. I love that I can punch out 30 pushups straight up and can kick it in the weights with the other gym junkies... I still have loads of work to do, im getting upper body strength but its a work in progress.. im just loving the muscle definition Im getting though, Im seeing that 6 pack even if it is marred by stretch marks....... :(
Im going to start looking into triathlons, how cool is that?? Me doing that.. awesome i reckon.. plus i like to win.....
so i made a wicked ass chocolate cake... actually to much chocolate.. chocolate chips in the cake and the icing was made of chocolate chips... over load but oh so nice!!
Had my mums meeting at lollipops, its awesome there, its the biggest indoor cafe ive ever seen, its great, be nice when the twins can play more though. they are more facinated with all the other kids running around and screaming!!
AND... i finally finished my 100 module on Aged Care.. just took afew months!! The assessment consisted of about 15 small essays. Fully on and a bit of a head fuck but its done.. thank fuck..
I still surprise myself that I can still study and that I still enjoy it. Im glad Im actually doing something with my life so when the kids are older Ill have a good job doing something Ill just enjoy. Id hate to have a job I didnt like. Whats the point.
Anyhow I have some kids to control and some music to crank! YEP its friday and music is on with a vodka in hand.. just one for me tonight though..
much luff
xx

down time..

So.. ben left today.. and you guessed it.. im sad. Walking around the house with the biggest frown, wanting to burst into tears sad... Its not a nice feeling to drop him of at the airport and then come home to a empty house that when he is home is full of fun, laughter and a very relaxed mum... I still try hard to give the kids those things when ben is away but its really hard when the one person you lean on for support just isnt around. So now Im counting down til he comes home next Wed lunch time... bring it on and fast I say..
I do have alot planned this week so hopefully that makes it go quicker, tomorrow if I could be bothered I have to do a grocery shop ( always fun with 4.. its not the shopping bit its bringing it inside!) Friday Im meeting some other mums at lollipops ( the awesome indoor play cafe here) and going to the gym... im hoping sunday i have the first consult for my make over then monday twins in care, tues is gym and wed ben is home.... so i hopefully it goes fast...
My remission didnt last long, im back on the steroids again, ive started to wonder if ill ever be able to get of meds again. Its not looking to good at all. This disease is really starting to shit me..... literally!!!!
Well my whinge here is done for now, Ive sorted all callums clothes out, he had so many and majority were way to small for him, brought in the clothes now i gotta start tea and all that fun stuff...
nite
xx

One to go....

Geeze, how time flies.. it really does... too bad it doesnt when its bad.... but tomorrow Ben is of to work again, for 8 nights...... i hate it so much but it's abit more happier this time around as when he gets back he has his next interveiw for groote.. please keep your fingers crossed for us!!
So what have we done this week??? Got on the piss alot of it actually. I needed to unwind and relax so for the first 4 nights ben was home, i got tipsy drunk! and it was great.. no hangover but still relaxed enough to have a good giggle! We havent done alot and its been awesome, just spent time together as a family. Went to the gym a whole lot ( for something different) now I prefer it when Ben is there......
We took the twins to a park with birds and got bombarded by them because I fed them bread and it cracked the twins up, that was a great moment, something made them laugh that much and it wasnt us! they are really turning into little people now. thank god.
I won something... OMG i won something!! I won a makeover in the townsville eye, its a magazine that comes out in Wednesdays paper, everyone reads it!! And im going to be in it as the August make over and I dont care what anyone says I fricken deserve it!!! I get my hair, make up done whole new style aswell!! ( im kinda hoping short) and I get a shopping spree for 3 outfits... casual, after 5 and formal and a photo shoot.... how awesome is that??? I just cant wait. Im waiting to hear when I can do the 2hour assesement first... have to be when ben is home..
So finally life is starting to look up for us, Im really starting to enjoy what I have here ( minus the up all night crap by myself) a loving family, great kids who are just amazing, 2 gorgeous babies and a husband who does absolutly everything for me when he is home so I can take it easy before he goes back.... and he is looking for jobs everywhere so we can live together again... i am realizing that I have a pretty darn good life. Even though sometimes it doesnt seem like that because ben works away... but not for long!!
Ben reminded me that next year we go to thailand with lisa and adam,be like a second honey moon for us.... we arent taking the kids!! we have a wedding in adel in nov we are really looking forward to and a wedding in melb early next year we are really looking forward to aswell.
Im on a high today and not quite sure what to do with myself.... ( okay im going to the gym!!!) im bummed ben goes tomorrow dont get me wrong but im happier knowing its only a matter of months and we could be outta this hole and on a tropical island.....
Well i best get to it, i have so many phone calls to make this morning.... dentist, specialist ( ive relapsed with my disease again... I think I jinxed myself but the steroids give me that energy i really need) wch in adel for callums kidneys and i have a girls night out next week in town i have to rsvp for...
take care
much luff
em
xxx

Blowing Bubbles...

Yay.. it's Wednesday and Ben is home today... and to make it even better he'll be home at lunch time... I cant stop watching that damn clock!!!
I need to explain to people how hard it is to get out and about with twins sometimes... I have to pack double everything you would normally pack for one, then I have to make double the bottles and then get the two sometimes 3 bags I need out to the car then one by one take the babies out to the car while making sure I havent forgotten anything.... then theres the getting ready bit, up fed wiped over and all that.. its so friggin hard and if I have to be somewhere early then I also have to have Mj and Cj ready aswell and they are NOT morning people ( I have no idea who they got that from :P) so this am I did all that.... get in the car to go to find both my babies are blowing bubbles out their noses........ so all my efforts were wasted because Im not that mum that will take sick babies to creche or child care.... so I dropped Mj and CJ at school and turned around to come home...... there goes my work out for today and I need to do it!! Ive become a bit of a gym junkie, mostly because I can kick it with the super fit now and give ppl a run for their money..... also I need the stress release... and Ive seen a difference abit of determination can get you. Im really happy with how Im starting to look, especially after having twins. I cant wait to get back on the netball court...
I have had 3 really bad nights in a row, every 1- 2 hours Ive been up, Im a mess at the moment and really look like shit. I need sleep to function, I cant without sleep. Im useless, cranky and well best stay away from me coz Ill just take my lack of sleep out on you!! Im not sure what the issue is but on the first night callum and rori were both spewing and well that was fun!
At least ben is home to do it now.. im taking a much needed time out....
He hasnt had his 2nd int yet.... i swear BHP are useless... its not hard to organise a video conferance.. but for gemco it is! Ben has to wait another 2 wks now to do it because the person who needs to do it isnt available now for another 2wks! My dream of leaving here soon is fading away fast..... I still think he will get it but I think its going to take time.. the whole recruitment process. Still I have everything crossed.
Ive been thinking alot lately about how sincere some people are, i always seem to attract friends that really think bragging and having the best of everything is going to make them more appealing.... maybe to cash converters but not to me! I then ask myself am i jealous? or is it just annoying... i came to the conclusion its just annoying because I have got alot of awesome stuff, more than the people who brag so I dont really think i can be jealous. Im jealous though, of wifes who have their husbands home every night... that makes me jealous. Familys that are together at the dinner table everynight. Dads helping their kids with their homework every night... God i cant wait to have that back, esp when ben is better at helping mj with her maths than I am!!
Im not jealous of people who pretend to be something they are not because they dont have the strength or courage to change their own lives... i have afew friends like that.
Anyhow,,, twins.. today are having a good day... rori is learning to "dance" she just bounces up and down when music is on, i have been able to put a teeny tiny pony tail in her hair at the top, kind of point less but looks cute!! brodie is getting around pretty well now, i put him down come back later to find him somewhere else.. they seem to both like pulling the dvds out the dvd stand.....
Im really in a weird place today, ive had a really hard 3 days, probably the lowest. All mums have that moment but when is enough enough? I dont think I have one person that fully understands the life I have.. i dont really understand why I have this life. Why its frustrating to see people who if they choose can have a good life but they choose to make it harder.
I think Im just sleep deprived. Really rambling here... I know I need a good BIG sleep. Ive never looked worse.
So im going to leave you here after my incoherant rant and rave.... dont judge me.. im not right today.
much love
em
x

So..

So.. Brodies all but over his spider bites, still scabby but def moved on, how scary and awful was that! Im really strict now that clothes dont stay on the clothes line over night and i check their beds every morning...
Welp, its sunday and michaela and I have been having a harry potter marathon, i just love harry potter and its great to share the movies with her. She understands more now so we're having some great conversations about the movies now....
I had a friend Nicola come over today, it was great for some company, especially when we have soo much in common. We're planning a night out to a local pub I cant wait.
I was talking to a very good friend this morning about people and how things in life affect them, that life is what you make it.... how true is that simple little saying. I know some things are often out of our control but sometimes, majority the decisions you make, the life you live and the way you treat other people dictates how your life is, if you feel sorry for yourself will life get better? or do you just expect sympathy and someone else to fix it?? Does whinging and expecting others to do everything really going to make life better? i dont know, im just tired of hearing about how bad others peoples lives are when they are the only people that can change it.. and yes.... we are in the process of changing ours.... means another move but hey im up for anything that will mean i can be happy fulfilled and not depressed, moody and all that crap. who wants to live like that?
anyhow....... our garage sale went very well, the kids were bloody awesome like usual, i swear im the luckiest mum, i have the most helpful caring kids in the world. i have never met any other kids like mine. i hope we can do just a good a job with the twins... im still a little concerned about toilet training them hahaha
well i have to run, harry potter 4 is about to start., thanks for hearing my rant for today.. im not sure if it made any sense at all...
hope everyone had just as a relaxing weekend as me!
much love
emma
x