Yay,. its friday!

Yay! It's friday.. no strict routines no rushing and no stressing.... well not as much!! I love weekends and cant wait for holidays again so i dont have to do the school run in the morning, you know how much I hate that!! Well just lately Ive taken to going to the gym in the mornings so I drop them at school and then go straight to the gym, Im actually becoming a junkie.... im wanting to do more and more enhanced things instead of the boring ones im doing... im loving that im now starting to see definition in parts of my body.. that all that sweat, funny faces and thoughts of wanting to rip the gym apart are paying off.... although this am I was slightly pissed as one of my ear phones wasnt working... i need my ipod at the gym... i go into my own world and sing too.. i must look funny running on the xtrainer and singing along.. oh well. my gym time my alone time im going to utilise it and if they dont like my singing.. get a ipod!! hahaha
our garage sale is tomorrow morning... so much to do still.... starts at 8am and i have to move our old couch out into the drive way and set up a table of all the clothes and stuff.... go put out the signs... i swear i must love having a full plate..... the stuff we got in it is pretty awesome, mostly baby stuff, swing, cacoon, jolly jumper tonnes of clothes that are new with tags or near new.. when we first moved here it was to hot so all the winter clothes we had for them ( before we knew we were moving here) have never really been worn.. so see how we go. stuff id actually give to family or mates if i lived closer to them!!!!
soo... brodies face is looking alot better,... well i thought so til someone pointed it out yest and because it does still look kinda bad, maybe contagious i had to explain the whole story... he's happier today and ate some food today so on the mend....
babies are in child care again monday, im really looking forward to it, i got a assignment back today that i blitzed again... ..19/19..... perfect!!! so it gives me the mojo to keep going. esp when lately i just wonder if its worth all the stress... its only EN.... still though its alot better than what most people i know are doing... i dont think though that I want to go onto RN... im thinking of going to go into maternity. thats still 3 years at uni... but thats something im interested in, certainly life experienced at... haha
the twins are 9mnths now.. i think i may have said that already. but still im just glad its moving along nicely... if not abit of a blur. they are gorgeous and just ratbags, rori is going to be a handful i can just tell... she already steals brodies toys if he is holding them... a little theif she is!
my birthday soon..... im a little excited.. i dont really know why. im only going to be 28. i think because bens birthday is 3wks after mine and we are going to go do a barrier reef diving day trip... be freezing though im sure. be fun though.
welp i best get to it... its almost 5 and i better start looking in the panty for some food for the little people... im thinking mexican pasta.. better defrost that mince then hey....
much luff.. miss everyone sooo much today... id really love that get together with afew drinks and some music with kids running around... miss those really bad.
xxx

Time Flies....

Gosh, time flies when you havin fun... Ben goes back to work tomorrow morning and im just dreading it. back to just me having to do everything and to make it worse he has to work a extra day so he is gone a extra night and day and that means one less for his days of next time. I cant wait for us to get out of here. Hopefully not long now. Theres something in the pipeline and it's looking just a little promising... but dont want to get our hopes up, when we do it always comes crashing down. still.. the longer we are here the more i hate life, stay angry at ben and generally cranky and down....
So much has been going on, Rori has gotten over her "bug" and we had a pretty cruizy weekend, callum had a birthday party at the mini golf place here on saturday and that place was amazing, rides, dodgems, mini golf, ride on cars, jumping castles... so we might take the kids there one weekend we are bored!! we've been very good and been going to the gym regulary. im very proud that i can do 25 push ups straight up and on the reverse fly ( i lean on a machine and bend forward to touch my toes on a 45 degree angle) i can do 30 of them holding 7.2kgs of weights.. so im slowly getting some upper body strength.. its hard work though!!
Brods woke up yest with about 6 litte bites on his cheek.. looked just abit bigger than mozzie bites and they blistered up, he vomitted afew time and we just assumed something bit him and he had caught roris "bug" ..... this morning i got him out his cot with afew more bites and to find a little spider crawling of him... so my baby was bitten by a spider.. repeatadly.. so of to the drs again.....arggg... its never ending.. he seems pretty happy though now, just gets cranky easier but is over all happy, doesnt like his face touched which is fair enough when its got big bites on it, ill post a pic on facebook later on....
ive managed to get afair bit of study done, i just love getting into it and doing it but finding the time and energy at the same time is a challenge.
well today we are of to the target toy sale, we werent going to do it this year because we want to get the kids a quad and associated gear to go with it but they have a giant jumping castle thingy and we want to get the twins some stuff so we back there today... they are 9months now.. wooohooo and brodie is pretty much crawling.....whooo hoooooo....... in a army shuffle struggling way.. its great to watch...
welp my brekky is waiting and so is the day.. im trying to organise everything i can now for our garage sale on the weekend.... im sure its going to be loads of fun!! not! mj is looking forward to it, she wants to be the "shopper" girl.. to help people and stuff... she says that now...
k, i have to go.
take care
lotsa luff
em
xxx

Heys.

Hello!
It's been afew days.. maybe that novelty is wearing off... that or bens home and he has me entertained.. i just love it when he is home. but time just goes to fast.
We've had a hard few days with the twins, they are both sick with different symtoms..brods has snot and stuff and rori is clingy, limpish, vomiting and sleeping a whole lot. im really watching her because babies can dehydrate so quickly so if she doesnt have a wet nappie soon its of to the drs again... with twins.. we are always at the drs. so we;ve been busy with them, tag team style although we are slightly out numbered with kids....
ben joined up at the gym yesterday, its great to have somebody to work out with.. it was nice to show of all the great things i can do now.. im getting super strong... and i bought a size 12 top so im bloody stoked.
i know this is short. i have brodie screaming at my feet and a game of spyro to defeat!! while the kids are at school...
have a great weekend
luff
emma

Ick.

Thought Id get me and the kids pizza for tea because its coldish ( i know... not as cold as SA..... but ive adjusted to the heat and there is no sun so its cold) and its been raining for days.. thanks for sending it up here... but i had one peice and i feel gross and oily it did taste unreal though, bbq meat lovers double topping by eagle boys.. yummo... i think the healthy lifestyle ben and i have been living for the last 5months ( and we've both dropped some serious weight..me 10kgs and ben over 25kgs!) having that take away stuff just really doesnt sit well.
Ben looks so different but so good. He's shrinking away and last week i was looking at his arms thinking where have they gone?? i think my bingo arms are bigger... speaking of bingo arms... ive been at the gym for months now, 3 or 4 to be almost exact and i still have bingo flappy arms.. its shitting me and i dont know how to get rid of them.. ive started to get a 6pack outline amidst my little post baby pouch... today really hurt at the gym actually but no prissys to entertain me.... im really proud of how i look 9months after having twins. Its been hard work and ive stunk alot but its been worth it.
Ive been trying to play spyro, callums alittle ahead of me and boy is he good at it. very frustrating have a loud 5yr old tell you what to do in a video game.. esp spyro.
So.. ive been doing alot of studying the last few days, the twins were in child care yesterday and it made it alot easier to concentrate. I wrote 3 essays and im stuck on my 4th.. and i still have 11 mini ones to go...... luckily my hair is falling out ( i suffer from some hormone thing after having babies that my hair falls out but it does grow back....) or id be pulling it out!!!
Speaking of health.. and I dont want to jinx myself I am FINALLY BACK IN REMISSION for my disease, its only been about 4months or so.... numerous trips to the dr lots of meds and days where i wanted to just die. Because I have a auto immune disease when i fall out of remission I catch anything and everything its so disheartening and painful and all that junk but hey look at me now!! think my only complaint is well nothing!!!! HAHA finally!! im all good and im just so happy... having a disease is complicated, consuming and depressive. Especially when people just dont understand or assume you are making it up, exagerating ( i know i spelt that wrong) or just simply dont care. I have to go have a lovely colonoscopy this year ( ive been avoiding it) but because i am now classified high risk bowel cancer i cant really escape it.. its such a lovely relaxing thing to have done............
ben is home tomorrow night for 6 days.. i just cant wait, we dont have alot planned which is great, we're going out to lunch monday with a couple up the road but thats about the extent of it.
i escaped the dentist this week but have to go next week, i still have to go back about 3times... i hate the dentist so much but i need to have work done so bad.. spewing for over half the preg really ruined my teeth both colour and density. sucks.
well. my lovelys.. im signing out to go play with my bubbas, callums making a magazine(!) mj is floating around, brodie is still trying to work out the crawling thing and rori is chasing anyone she can in her walker..... just a insight into my day....
take care
xxxx

What a great day!

What a nice day! Twins at child care from 8.30 til 4.30pm it was nice.. I got to go shopping on my own, had lunch on my own ( and im not afraid to eat by myself in a cafe or resturant its great) got heaps of study done, although the research side of it all is starting to piss me off I spend more time researching than actually doing the essay's. One is on the transitions and adjustments that are related to old age and Psychosocial needs of the older adult... interesting stuff hey.
Now though that all 4 are running about the house its loud and louder.... ive managed to bath 3/4 just rori to go, 2 are fed and 2 waiting.... rori hasnt slept much today i guess the excitement of being in child care kept her awake so she is a little testing at the moment and its just to early for her to go down..
NATIONAL PREMMIE DAY JULY 25th..... important to me as I had 2 very small and delicate babies.... my friend jackie m had her twin girls at 32wks and they didnt weigh over 800grams each, i think one was actually 500grams... thats about how much ham i buy a week...... im of to a morning tea at the ronald mcdonald house with afew other mums i know to support it and raise money for the units.. the nurses and drs who work with such fragile little things deserve so much praise..
2 sleeps and ben is home and i just cant wait. the week he is home go so much faster than when he is away. guess time flies when you are having fun.
Big brother finale, yeah i got sucked in, can you believe it... me... sucked into that crap... i hope nana terri wins. does that make me old that i want that??
so. in all ive had a pretty wicked day. tomorrow im back to the gym as is wed am and fri am, im thinking of going to a kickboxing session thurs but i dont know... i dont want to hurt anyone bahahahahaha
well i better bath spew bag rori... she has another teethie coming through on the bottom, its just about to break through.. god it must be so painful.
thanks for the positive feed back on my new obsession, im glad its helping / amusing / interesting...
take care
luff luff
em

OKay..

Okay. I think im addicted because every time i have something to say or something happens this is where I want to put it.. I guess the novelty will wear off eventually... I hope...
I should be starting a essay, ive done the notes for it but just cant do it... its on two body systems that deteriorate with the natural aging process, ive chosen urinary system and musculoskeletal... did you know our bones start to deteriorate from about the age of 30.... so drink that milk...
Im thinking of going to lunch or brunch with rach tomorrow, waiting for her reply... dont have the twins and it would be nice to eat a meal without them.. although its great to give them food now and watch them attempt to eat it, or screw their faces up if they dont like it. I love my kids sooo much but its not all about them... Im EMma... 27... soon 28 and have lots of stuff to say and do.... thats how i feel sometimes that motherhood took away abit of me.. i love being a mum, its rewarding in so many different ways but i still want to be emma. You seen twins... twins... it sounds hard and i guess sometimes it is hard but if ben wasnt working away it would be alot easier. Its double everything.... if you have just one baby, double it for just a second, double the poop double the screams double the work double the MONEY>but also double the laughter and cuddles. We get stopped all the fuckin time in shops, get asked are they twins, are they boy girl when one is wearing pink one blue, ask if we had ivf or not ( i think thats a bit personal) we get stopped and told god loves us and knew we would cope... we also get the sympathy looks the fuck that looks and the looks of omg..... as if its not hard enough... when i have to go out i have to pack double the bottles double nappies 2 bags and then getting them in and out the car, when they were small i mastered getting them both out the car at the same time but now they are a whopping 8kgs i cant so one is always waiting,,,,, thats the bit i hate. one always has to wait. i am very particular though, if you show one affection or attention the other gets it too. doing twin feeds was hard, the last 8months have gone by in a blur. and I always wonder who out of all the friends i have ever wondered if i was coping...
we're having a garage sale in afew weeks, ive never done one before, we have so much crap esp in the garage so its time to clear it out, we;ve updated alot of our stuff and the old is still cloggin up the house... maybe thats my space issue.... with what we make im going to get pissed hahahahaha..... na we'll need it if we move on from here... we've been trying to sell my beloved VE now, i didnt want to but we dont need it and we want to upgrade to a pathfinder... no tarago for us...... yet!
well im spent.. im hot.. and i dont think ill do my essay tonight.
hope your all well and stuff.
nitey nite.
xxx

A fricken Bed...

God... how hard can a fricken bed be to put together, I woke up this morning and decieded that it was time for callum to move from his car bed ( that we bought him when he was 2 so he wouldnt fall out of it!) and into a big bed, what a prick that was to put together, 1hr and 15min later with red fingers and neighbours who probably put ear plugs in to avoid hearing my swearing... its together. His room looks great.. now I just have to buy matching furniture its still all odds n ends and hand me downs so in the next week or so some new bedside tables for them and eventually I want to get them those cupboards with a toy box on the bottom, they are awesome. Just costly.
Im on this huge storage thing, I have to create more room from the space I have because this house is too small or we are just outgrowing it... I have a feeling we are outgrowing it.... Ive bought some of those under bed containers for Mj and CJ so help clean up the crap they hardly play with but just had to have..once the twins start getting bigger and into toys and stuff we really need a playroom because their room is full with the two cots, change table, chest of draws and couch... doesnt leave alot of room...
Man having twins is fun, it does make me laugh though when people just assume we planned it that way... its not our fault and we have to pay double everything. Esp with clothes because well, they are boy girl so no sharing. Thanks to Rach Richards though who has given me clothes and has seen me through the last few months and even now still... thanks a gazillion babe.
My house is a mess. A big grotty mess and I just cant be stuffed cleaning it, I might do some tomorrow when the twins are in child care but really i think ill study and watch tv hahaha
Well, I bought the kids a new playstation game today.. spyro.. looks good so im going to try it first.
peace out.. hahahahaha
xxxxx

I'm hooked...

Now I have started this blog thing, Im almost addicted. Addicted to putting my life on the web for everybody to read and judge... more for people to understand me... I think, well I know that for the best part of my life Ive been judged... sometimes Ive done something that may warrant it but mostly I do things because I believe in them, I don't do things, change me for other people, dont tell people what they want to hear... I never have. Why should I, just because they have insecurities about themselves doesnt mean I have to change for it.. it has though got me into alot of trouble over the years. If you ever heard of me or something Ive done, I can gurantee there was almost always a person I was sticking up for, protecting or whatever.. so I have learnt now, not to do those things, you cant treat a old dog new tricks.....
Anyhow, the reason for this blog, my second for today is.... Brodie started to crawl, its a strange awkward type of crawl, gets up on 4's rocks brings legs forwards then collapses then does like a breast stroke type of thing then moves in a army crawl way.. it is funny but he gets where he wants to go, now its just a matter of fine tuning and getting faster.. I cant wait for them to crawl. the fun the excitement and i wont be able to sit for long at all hahahaha.... and rori has another bottome tooth coming through, but she hasnt got any top.. is that normal? I thought bottome two come first then top two then the side ones...
well thats all i wanted to say, oh and my chicken soup i made.. kicked some fuckin ass... best yet!
Have a good one, im watching a movie callum picked out... TMNT... cowabunga dudes
xx

MMM Chicken Soup....

MMM, I love nothing more than home made chicken soup, takes all morning to make but is so worth it and its great because I use the chicken for a meal tonight. Last's all weekend and is just so yummy!
Saturday... we are of to a good start. Kids are all happy and easily pleased, we watched enchanted for the 5th time, I really don't mind it.. Happily Ever After hey, do we all really get that?
Im really getting over facebook. Its boring me and I only really ever read peoples status to see what they are up too and check out any pics that I might find interesting. I put pics up so ppl can see my beautiful children but thats about it. I wonder what the next big thing will be, there was ringo, bebo and facebook, myspace.
Im really looking forward to the next week, we are waiting for a really important phone call that could change our lives... and no unfortuantly it wont be the lotto commission. Ben is home Wednesday night and the kids have a concert they are doing at school Monday morning. And the twins are going into childcare all day Monday so I can get some serious study done. I have a workshop in Whyalla in late november and I have to have a certain amount of modules done before the workshop so I need to knuckle down. Im currently doing the cardiovascular system and a really big aged care module. Interesting though.
Im thinking of getting inked again in the very near future, the twins initials on the inside of my ankles, a eternal flame flask on bens name ( not cover up to add to it) and afew others, obviously not all at once... ouch. But I will be covered by the time Im 30, it isnt my goal to be that I just have some that Ive waited a year for so I know I really want them, Im not impulsive when it comes to tatts. Thats when you get the sad, bad and ick ones. Ones you regret. I dont regret one of the 5 I have and cant wait to add more. Also thinking of a beauty spot peircing or a dimple peircing... just for interest sakes... I can always take it out!!
Well, I best get to it... the chicken soup is ready and the rolls are buttered... yummo! Now we just have to pick the next movie to watch today... I love these days, they really do shit all over going out getting smashed and wasting away a day. Im really over that. Ive tried to get back into it but just dont see the point. Id rather drink at home and stay in my pjs haha
okay im going.. told yas i could talk...
xxx

Chin Up...

I was talking to my most awesome cousin Sarah last night, who told me to keep my chin up.. she is such a down to earth caring person, I really do luff her.. so when I was doing my chin ups today I was definetly thinking of her!!
I went to the gym still in a fowl mood but really found I pushed myself so much harder because of my sappy mood. I belted out 25 pushups before starting to shake... I remember when I could only do 4 then collapse. They are really hard and I really had no upper body strength at all. Now Im beginning to get some nice "guns" hahaha.
Theres alot of prissys that go to my gym. They even go in makeup. I figure because alot of army guys go there that they want to pick up. I think they forget its a gym. People go there to sweat and smell. Geeze I go with hairy legs... .... well noone is going to get up and close to me at the gym are they??? It does make me laugh though, watching them try to attempt the machinery.. equipment what ever they call the stuff you use to get muscles and stuff. They struggle and its funny. Im not a prissy and Im not into makeup so its great to see them fail at something...
Im determined today and tonight to have a good night. I just have to. It's getting to draining having bad ones all the time. Though I have to admit because it's friday night and Mj and Cj dont have school tomorrow they can stay up just a tad later so I don't have to be so routined and on the ball. It's okay to take it easy and eat when eat and bath when it comes around.
We dont have much planned for the weekend, bens working away so I lay pretty low, its a little hard to get out with all 4 and keep tabs on them, I can do it if I have to but I dont go out of my way. So we will make some home made chicken soup tomorrow and watch movies all weekend... sounds good to me!
I just worked out, I changed 6 pooey nappies today..... and thats not including the wet ones inbetween.. man. thats alot. I go through about 12 nappies a day, 8 bottles a day depending can be more. Starting to go through 3 cans of food a day. And then there is clothes shopping... argg these babies just keep growing!! Heres a bullshit fact for everyone, with the government we arent classified as a multiple family because we only had 2 babies at once, you have to have triplets to be classified as a multiple birth.. how fucked is that... we miss out on so many benefits.
anyhow, my beautiful older cherubs will be home any minute and I just cant wait to see them. Its always such a rush in the mornings.
Take Care
xxxxx

Im not...

Geeze,
Everyday that Ben is away is just getting harder. The days seem to be getting easier but come 4.30pm when I have to start doing tea, baths and stories and homework, plus pee and feeds and poos... its exhausting, frustrating and probably the most alone I have ever felt in my whole life. There I said it.. so for everyone who thought I was super woman.. there you go. Im not. I struggle everyday Bens away and I think out of everyone I support only 3 really ask me how I am going and if Im ok. Pretty weak when I try my hardest to help other people. Better still I try to keep in contact with other people, see for me, Friends are for life not for the time being or til we move towns. For life. I make friends because I see I have something in common and I care about them otherwise why would I bother. This whole experience for me is showing me who my friends are and who are just plain old fake. Its becoming fairly obvious.
Im just in a shit mood and over this so bad. I shouldnt even be doing this because Im in a bad frame of mind.
Im pissed some kids are still throwing shit at my kids when they get of the school bus, so mummy is taking a trip to the bus stop tomorrow afternoon........
I have and will bring my kids up to respect themselves and everyone else around them and its so frustrating when other people dont because its my kids that cop it. I know not all kids are perfect and mine have their moments but they dont intentionally hurt people.
I keep living in the past, wish I could take the last year back and do it over. I have never had to go through anything so hard in my life before and sometimes hearing Im superwoman makes it worse because then I feel like a failure. I just do what I have too to get through the day.
Im trying so hard to finish my nursing. Its such a long slow battle. I dont think I will ever get there and Ill be disapointed if I don't. I just keep plodding along. I know eventually our life will turn out wicked good I just wish it wasnt so hard getting there.
I have everything crossed that by nov we are out of here. Somewhere together as a family.
Okay... Im over my tantrum. I better go get Rori who went to sleep at half 6 only to wake up now so I wont be getting a early night....... great.
xx

My First....

Wow.
My first ever online blog that isnt related to a social network. I figure so many of my friends have online blogs that I enjoy reading all the time that I might do one aswell. Life is going so fast and so little time and blogs are just the perfect way to keep people in the know about what your up too and whats going on. Especially when my hands are constantly full and time is limited.
So.. life for us is okay. Not great but okay. Who wouldnt change a aspect of your life??? Nobodys life is perfect and its just foolish to project that to the world. Your only kidding yourself.
I wish that I could change the last year. Take it all back. Not the twins but everything else. Im looking forward to moving on from Townsville. Im happy but could be happier. I miss my friends so frickin much it hurts and I miss family. It killed me when Bens parents left and then when Kells left. I knew we were missing out on so much. That they are missing out on so much. It would be nice to fast forward 6 years.. we'll be in Stansbury running a deli and I reckon life will be pretty sweet. I'd be a Nurse by then, twins will be at school. All good.
It's quiet at the moment, a rarity, both Brodie and Rori are taking there afternoon sleeps and I know I should be too... It's hard to sleep through the day. Especially when I have washing, dishes, cleaning, studying or gym to do in the mean time, oh and theres facebook and blogs to read. So much and not enough time.
At 3.30 mj and cj will walk through the door and I just love hearing about their day. I love listening to Callum sing his new songs and love hearing about what Mj has learnt today... shit i forgot to send a reciepe to school with her this morning.. Im in trouble tonight......
They are a outstanding help when Ben works away. If we didnt have the twins it wouldnt be so bad having ben work away but with two babies it is double everything... mostly its okay but its more tiring.
Mj is now 8, it hurt a little that some people forgot especially when I make such a effort to remember other peoples kids birthdays. Really honestly Im sick of wasting the limited time I have on people who just cant return it. I know people are busy and stuff but geeze.
I dont know who will find this interesting, I guess for me its a release. I get to off load whats goin on in my life and stuff. As time goes on I guess it will get better. I can talk for ages, about anything, my gift to you!!
So I guess I'll leave it here for the first blog. I didnt really need to introduce myself as well those reading will already know me and my life so far.
Take Care
Emma n co!
XXXXXX